Karaoke Wing
by Kita1
Summary: Ever wanted to hear the cast of Gundam Wing summed up, all to the tune of Beach Boys hits? NO? Well, you want to now, I can tell. NEW SONG: Trowa in Surfin' Safari! Rated T for violence.
1. Surfin' USA

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Gundam Wing or any of the songs that I use--they all belong to Bandai and the Beach Boys, respectively.**

_Heero_

If everybody had a Gundam

across the colonies

then everybody'd be killing

each other as they please

You'd see 'em destroy OZ Leos

Cancer and Taurus, too

If everyone were psycho

They'd kill just like me

* * *

'Cause that Zero System (inside, outside, in my brain)

Tells me how to fight (driving, driving me insane)

Puts the enemy behind me (inside, outside, in my brain)

directly in my sights (driving, driving me insane)

This system killed OZ's Trant (inside, outside, in my brain)

and drove Quatre crazy (driving me nuts)

If only they could handle it

they'd kill just like me

* * *

I'm planning my attack

on Romefeller's guys

I'm fixin' up WingZero

Can't wait to make 'em die

I'll be gone for a while

and St. Gabe's might disapprove

so tell the Sister I'm killing

anything that moves

* * *

I once jumped out a window (not one cut from broken glass)

and rolled down a cliff (snapped my leg back into place)

Then I self-destructed (explosions don't bother me)

but somehow I lived (slept for a month—a disgrace)

I'm the perfect soldier (I'm immortal, can't be killed)

because I'm immune to pain (and I like it)

Even without the System

I am quite insane

Even without the System

I am quite insane


	2. Help Me Rhonda

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:Only one review? C'mon, you guys can do better. PLEASE review my stuff; I'm addicted to feedback!**

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* * *

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_Relena_

Saw a pilot on the shore and I thought I'd just stop right by

Took off his helmet and saw he was a good-looking guy

Well, Heero he pulled a gun

and I knew he was the one

so won't you kill me, Heero, kill me and come into my heart

* * *

Kill me Heero, kill kill me Heero! (6X)

Kill me, Heero, yeah! I'll follow you everywhere

* * *

I was gonna be the queen and he was gonna be my guard

But he got in his Gundam, held the beam saber over my heart

He said, "Get this through your thick head,

You're a psycho and I want you dead"

Will you please kill me, Heero, kill me and come into my heart?

* * *

Kill me Heero, kill kill me Heero! (6X)

Kill me, Heero, yeah! I'll follow you everywhere


	3. Fun Fun Fun

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hmm... there seems to be a lack of reviewage. Hint hint. (sigh) I am _so_ feedback-dependent!**

**Vaca Loco:** Thanks.

**Baron Hausenpheffer:** I always look forward to hearing what you have to say.I'm proud that you enjoy my work. Thanks again for the Ranma parody of "Help Me Rhonda"--it was a real treat!

* * *

_Duo_

Well I got my Deathscythe Hell and I blew through OZ's defense lines now

Seems they forgot their mobile suits aren't nearly as advanced as mine now

With my green scythe a-blazin', I go chopping them all up real fine now

and I'll just kill, kill, kill 'till there's nothing left to blow into pieces

* * *

Well, my 'Scythe beats standard 'cause she fights, looks and kills like the devil (kills like the devil, kills like the devil)

She makes the top OZ pilots look like they're on the basic level (on the basic level, a basic level)

And when I'm done wreakin' havoc, I'll play with all the debris and revel ('cause Duo's insane, yes, the pilot's insane)

So I'll just kill, kill, kill 'till there's nothing left to blow into pieces

* * *

Well, I knew all along that I'd end up being captured somehow (it makes a good plot twist, it makes a good twist)

So I sat around in jail as long as my sanity would allow (sanity allowed, his sanity allowed)

And as it so happens, I can hide explosives in my braid now (explosives in his braid, a bomb in his hair)

Now I can kill, kill, kill 'till there's nothing left to blow into pieces

And I'll just kill, kill, kill 'till there's nothing left to blow into pieces


	4. Wouldn't It Be Nice

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: This one and the Trowa one are probably my favorites... I've also got two Wufeis waiting in the wings, and some of the other characters may show up as well. Also, I only got one review... my deepest, sincerest thanks to Baron Hausenpheffer, the King of Humoring-Kita-Land, my oasis in this "review drought," who really deserves all the cheesecake this world has to offer. Alright, I give up. I'll post the rest of these anyway, just 'cause I can, but I'd still appreciate hearing from you guys... (breaks down crying)**

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* * *

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_Quatre_

Wouldn't it be nice if we were all friends

Then we wouldn't have to fight at all

And wouldn't it be nice to live together

in a world where we all got along?

* * *

You know, it's only going to get better 

when we get instruments and play together

* * *

Wouldn't it be nice if my whole family 

Were still alive to see my dream come true?

But the guys from OZ set up an ambush

Blew our house up, killed Dad and Sis too

* * *

I know I've got twenty-eight other siblings 

But this whole deal makes me want to start killing

Heh—wouldn't that be nice

* * *

Maybe if my Gundam had Zero System I'd have revenge 

Maybe I could destroy all the colonies and hurt my friends

I could go crazy (I could go crazy)

I could go crazy (I could go crazy)

Heh—wouldn't that be nice

* * *

You know, the more it seems I rant about it 

It only makes more sense to act upon it

So I'll go insane now

Heh—wouldn't that be nice

* * *

Have revenge on colonies 

Destroy all their weapons

Have revenge on colonies

Destroy all their weapons

* * *

**I'll give it one more shot... pleeeease review?**


	5. Barbara Ann

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:This song is quite weak (get it? Weak? Wufei? Aw, whatever), so I've written another Wufei one that I will post very very very very soon. Actually, I would've trashed this one altogether, except that I'm quite fond of the line that starts "Went to a base..."**

**Baron Hausenpheffer:** Thanks... I _have_ been a little review-happy recently. I'm glad you enjoyed this last chapter so well, and I hope you're not sick of cheesecake by now, 'cause here's some more.

**silvertwighlight:** I think Trowa's kind of, um, icky, so if you want him you can have him. The Trowa song will be posted soon after the next Wufei song goes up. I think you'll like it.

**Wolven:** Sure thing. In fact, I think I'll update right now. Hope you like the rest of my song collection of doom!

* * *

_Wufei_

Na na na, na Nataku

Na na na, na na Nataku

I love you

Nataku

You've got me killing and a-maiming

Yelling and complaining

Nataku, na na, na Nataku

* * *

Went to a base that was training guys for space

Blew it up 'cause girl lieutenants are a disgrace

* * *

Nataku, na na

Nataku

You've got me killing and a-maiming

Yelling and complaining

Nataku, na na, na Nataku (2X)

* * *

Tried mobile suits that the doctors made brand-new

I screamed "THEY ALL ARE WEAK!" 'cause I need my Nataku!

* * *

Nataku, na na

Nataku

You've got me killing and a-maiming

Yelling and complaining

Nataku, na na, na Nataku (2X)


	6. Little Deuce Coupe

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: I like this Wufei song much better. Yay!**

**Baron Hausenpheffer: **I am _so_ glad y'all are okay. Hope everything is (relatively) alright down south. Nataku is Wufei's pet name for his Gundam (it was his late wife's nickname), and he says it about 497 times each episode.

**silvertwighlight:** Sugar is a very good thing. Glad you like these. Trowa's icky 'cause I don't like his hair. But he's funny, so I guess it all balances out.

* * *

_Wufei_

My Nataku, you don't know what I got

My Nataku, you don't know what I got

* * *

I don't need to brag to bring you to your knees

'Cause I've got the sweetest Gundam in the colonies

If something comes up to me, I'll only laugh

And then Nataku's dragon-arms will go and slice it in half

She's my dear Nataku—you don't know what I got

(My Nataku, you don't know what I got)

* * *

She's my ride, Nataku, the only one for me

Smashing through OZ's troops almost too easily

Whenever you see havoc, feel like something's amiss,

It's only me and Nataku exacting justice

She's my dear Nataku—you don't know what I got

(My Nataku, you don't know what I got)

* * *

She's got the competition crying, begging for their lives

And it makes me warm and fuzzy when we make them all die

And as if those aren't enough ways for her to slaughter

There's one more thing—she can fight underwater

* * *

I use the cover of night to attack enemies

And my Gundam'll blow them all to smithereens

Then something just snaps, and it's hard to quit

Nataku keeps growing stronger with every hit

She's my dear Nataku—you don't know what I got

(My Nataku, you don't know what I got)

She's my dear Nataku—you don't know what I got

(My Nataku, you don't know what I got)


	7. Surfin' Safari

**I am SO sorry that I haven't updated this in so long... responsibility has gotten the best of me, so I had to take a leave of absence from fanfiction for about six weeks. I hope this chapter was worth the wait. It's one of my favorites.**

_Trowa_

Let's go to the show

Get some seats in the front row

Come on to the circus with me

* * *

Early in the morning I'm with the animals 

They're all strangely attracted to me

I'm settin' up the big top with Miss Bloom by my side

and the scary ringleader who is a freak

* * *

Come one, come all to our big circus 

See Catherine hit me with knives

Come one, come all to our big circus

Wearin' the ugliest pants I've ever worn in my life

Let's go to the show

Get some seats in the front row

Come on to the circus with me

* * *

My Gundam's name is Heavyarms, it's got a bunch of guns 

but it runs out of ammo right away

I guess it's pretty useless, but I'll take what I can get

I even took the original pilot's name

* * *

The real Trowa Barton is dead now 

He was all for destroying the Earth Sphere

The real Trowa Barton is dead now

The doctor with the nose job gave me his gear

Let's be pilots now

Spent my whole life learnin' how

Come on and destroy stuff with me

* * *

I was out in Heavyarms when Quatre finally snapped 

and tried to blow my L3 away

Well, I took the blast myself but got jettisoned into space

I guess that's what I get for saving the day

* * *

Can't remember who the heck I am 

Where am I? Who are you? What is my name?

Can't remember who the heck I am

Do I really keep my hair in these bangs?

Let's forget stuff now

Everyone's got amnesia now

Be a nameless soldier with me


End file.
